We had just arrived back home from the airport and I could feel it. That discontent feeling when you arrive home and so many things are different. My husband had done a lot of projects when we were gone and even the slightest change in furniture placement made me feel uneasy. It’s not that I wasn’t grateful for his hard work when we were gone… I’m forever grateful for his handy and hard work. I just knew that it was never going to be the same as it had been for months… and on top of having to adjust to a new routine we now had to change the way we moved about our house and it felt like a lot to wrap my tired brain around.

Now, this may seem like a small problem. And in fact, you’re correct. Having my laundry in a different place and my bedroom configuration moved around isn’t that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. But, it was still a transition we had to get used to and it caused me to really look at how I deal with change and what tools I can develop and use to get through them more easily.

The definition of transition is: the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.

Transitions in our lives can be big or small. Big examples could include; moving, getting a new job, getting married, adding another child to your family or adding a new pet. Transitions could be small like; transitioning from dinner to bedtime, moving the furniture around, a house renovation (could be big or small) or a change in schedule.

**As a note I do want to point out that not all transitions are joyful. Sometimes heartbreak and loss can bring us into a season of grief combined with transition. While some of these tools may be helpful during those times, please know that I think grief and loss are a whole different topic and type of transition. They require extra gentleness, care and a whole new level of tools and resources. I’m not going to touch on those during this post, because I honestly don’t have the answers, but I encourage you to seek out other blogs, counseling services and friends who can better serve your specific needs.

These are the tools I was inspired to think about and practice as we transitioned from one season of life to another. As you’ll see, the psychology degree in me really came out for this one! haha Analyzing and becoming self aware of where our energy and emotions are going is a large part of the foundation to managing your time, finding a rhythm and embracing change.

10 Steps to Help You Embrace Change

1. Recognize that you are in a transition

If we fail to do this, we can cause a lot of guilt or negative feelings to build up. Transitions are hard. I don’t know many people who deal with change without some level of tension or grieving the old. If we continue to go on without stopping and recognizing what season we are in the tension and feeling of being a little “lost” can knock our confidence and have us wondering why we can’t seem to find our rhythm.

You can do this by:

1. making a list of things that have changed

2. making a list of why those changes are hard or easy for you

3. Talking through the changes with a friend and vocalizing why this season is hard for you

2. Being aware of your mental state

This can go hand in hand with number 1 but I think it is important to separate them. It is important to first recognize that you are in a transition and then become aware of how this is effecting your energy/mental state. Have you transitioned to a new job? Did you just have another child? Those are two examples of big transitions that can be very draining mentally. You are constantly thinking, the change in routine has your body exhausted and these can all contribute to your ability to adapt during this time.

Even small transitions can take a toll on our mental state depending on what events have come before. Have you just worked a long day and now have to come home, cook dinner and put kids to bed? Or have you just taken care of your child, cooked, cleaned and run errands all day and now your husband walks in the door adding another human who needs attention? It can be exhausting and noting your mental state at times of transition can be key to recognizing what tools or changes need to be implemented.

Besides draining our energy transitions can leave us feeling uprooted, uncomfortable and vulnerable. All of these feelings can cause our defenses to go up and our unhealthy emotional responses to come out in everyday situations we used to be able to stay calm in. Recognizing our vulnerabilities and defense mechanisms can help control the way we respond to perceived stress in times of transition.

You can do this by:

1. Looking at your day and recognizing what transitions are hard for you

2. Thinking about your mental state during those transitions (do you tend to have more negative thoughts? Are you overwhelmed? Do you dread it?)

3. Look at any of the next steps and see if they can help you determine how you can make this transition more joyful / less draining.

3. Recognize tension in relationships

Russell and I tend to argue more during transitional periods. When we come home from vacation - boom. When we moved- it was rough. When we had Bowen - tired, stressed parents + transition = all the arguments.

The transition from our afternoon play into dinner time is hard on Bowen and I. There is a tension and often some screaming and exhausted sighs. It’s something we are working on but the tension is definitely there.

Your marriage isn’t broken. You aren’t a bad mother. Your friendship isn’t over. You my sweet friend, are in a transitional period.

You can do this by:

1. Recognizing that the arguments are more about the stress and overwhelm of the season than you personally can heal many wounds.

2. Look at the pattern of arguments or moments of tension in your day… are they coming from a time of transition?

3. Try (this is a hard one) to recognize this in the moment or shortly after… what is this argument / tension really about?

4. Do the minimum

In times of transition we can be tempted to fill our schedule with busyness to ignore that uneasy feeling of being uprooted and vulnerable. But, in order to put down roots we need to stay still for a little while. Be gentle with yourself and embrace the uncomfortable. I’m not telling you to be a hermit or sit around and do nothing. I’m telling you to be aware that there is a line between being busy and being productive. Be productive with your time. Your mind and body may need more rest than usual during this period.

You can do this by:

1. Scheduling the minimum during your day.

2. Creating larger time blocks for events than usual

3. Saying no, even if you might normally say yes (if you need help with this read my tips here)

5. Have Staple Routines

Creating a morning routine was one of the best things I have done for myself. Mornings have always been a hard transition for me. I always felt lost, grumpy and overwhelmed. So, I implemented my morning routine (you can read about it here) and now mornings are starting to be my favorite time of the day. Creating a routine that brings you joy (even if it is temporary) during times of transition can make a huge difference.

You can do this by:

1. Pin pointing times of transition

2. Creating a 3-4 step routine filled with things that bring you joy / ground you

3. Stick to them + follow through, you’re worth it

4. Also, getting on the same page as your spouse/family can be a game changing routine for your week (you can read about how we do that here)

6. Priority Grid

Have you ever made a to-do list and then felt even more lost and overwhelmed? Have you ever stared at it and not known what to do next or where to start? Maybe you just decided to scroll your phone instead because the list just made you tired…? That was me before I had a priority grid. It is my MUST HAVE item for managing your time. Have you used this yet?! Girrrrrrl, you NEED this! Download my guide to “your most productive week ever” and it will be sent straight to your inbox along with my other top time saving tips. They help your brain decide what is important for RIGHT NOW and forget the rest so that your overwhelm can significantly decrease.

p.s. I also wrote a whole blog post on this that you can read about here

You can do this by:

1. Downloading my Priority Grid via the form above

2. Write out everything swirling around in your brain onto the grid

3. Choose what tasks need to be done TODAY and schedule them.

4. Follow through, because you’re worth keeping promises for

5. Feel accomplished! You did it!

7. narrow your Focus

Narrowing your focus can be KEY during a time of transition. When everything around us seems to be impermanent or up in the air it is nice to mentally push everything aside and focus on a few small tasks.

You can do this by:

1. Focusing on JUST your morning. Don’t let yourself look ahead

2. Focus on JUST your afternoon. Don’t let yourself think about tomorrow

3. During a smaller time block make a detailed list of tasks that need to be completed and rewards you can give yourself when they are done (mine usually involve chocolate hahaha). This can help narrow your focus to only the tasks at hand

8. Ask For Prayer / Find Community

In times of transition I usually need more prayer. I have a lot of unknowns in my life, a lot of stress, tension and vulnerable feelings. Find a community or at least one person you can reach out to when you have a prayer request or just something you need to talk about. Looking to God’s word, having a devotional you can turn to and community is an overarching tool that can help you in any of these steps and any season of change.

You can do this by:

1. Being willing to be vulnerable and reach out to friends or family

2. Offering the same support when friends need you

3. Testing out and finding a devotional / Bible study that works for you

4. Finding verses and scripture to turn to during this season. Write them down so that you can easily access them.

9. Don’t wish it away

It is easy to wish away times of transition. No matter the size or the circumstances, change can be hard on any level. Wishing away the transitional season can be a dangerous mental state to be in. It can create a cycle of negative thoughts and leave you less likely to persevere by using these tools to add more joy instead of overwhelm.

You can do this by:

1. Using any of these tools to spark joy during this time of change

2. Create a time each day to write down AT LEAST one thing you are thankful for from your day (I recommend three).

3. Create accountability with a friend or spouse so that they can call you out (lovingly) when negativity tries to take over

10. Think Outside the Box

When we choose to not wish away our times of transition we become more open to change itself. This can inspire a “thinking outside the box” mentality and create changes that may actually be more healthy / life giving than what you were previously doing. Being open to change and an opportunity to grow or become a better version of yourself can be a gift and often create a sense of gratitude for this time instead of negativity.

You can do this by:

1. Thinking critically and creatively about struggles / tensions that are happening during this transitional season

2. Being proactive and coming up with solutions that bring more joy to your situation

3. Recognizing that feeling of “more joy” and using that to inspire more “out of the box” problem solving

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I hope this list can help you better understand and approach times of transitions / change.

I’d love to know if you have any other tips to add! Have you used any of these 10 tips yourself? Did you find them useful?