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Have you ever had days where you felt like this over and over?

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ummmm yeah that was me on Wednesday. It was a hard day and I felt really overwhelmed (yes I still have hard days even though I teach this stuff!). If you follow me on Instagram you know I like to keep it ONE HUNDRED PERCENT honest and real around here. I’m not perfect by any means.

Thankfully I have one tool that never fails me.

First, can you relate to these definitions and feelings of overwhelm?

to cover or bury
to overpower, destroy or crush
to overcome in mind and feeling
feeling defeated
feeling paralyzed
can make us turn away and give up or quit
breed negative thoughts
breed anxiety + stress
state of mind can make us lash out at those around us
feel victimized by all that we think we have to do or is expected of us (can cause more stress and more lashing out)

Which one do you most relate to?

Do you know the story of peter walking on water towards Jesus?

Matthew 14:22-33 New International Version (NIV)
Jesus Walks on the Water
22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.
25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
29 “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Notice that Peter ASKED for this and then doubts, loses his focus and gets scared. Can you relate?

Have you every asked for something and then so quickly forgot that it was an answered prayer because overwhelm and stress stole your joy? me too.

I prayed for Bowen. I prayed for a child for so long and once I finally had one I was overcome with overwhelm, guilt and anxiety. All of these things are not from our God. It is not the way we were intended to live our lives. But they are real feelings and real emotions that we have to learn to overcome.

Yes, there will be hard times but we weren’t meant to do them alone or for it to be so crushing day in and day out that we just want to give up.

Overwhelm can make us feel isolated and alone. You are never alone, dear sweet friend. That’s why i’m SO passionate about bringing you actionable advice to change your story. To step into a light full of confidence that you can take on anything that comes your way because you have the tools to do so.

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So, let’s jump right in to the tool I want to focus on in this post which is “Narrowing Your Focus” and taking small steps.

Now, I do want to preface that planning for your future or a big picture dream or goal is NOT bad… as long as we hold our plans loosely. But I do want to show you how to reach those without crippling overwhelm or anxiety and that involves thinking small and narrowing your focus.

To-Do Lists are crippling your ability to be productive

Have you ever heard that making a to-do list is the best thing to do? Me too. And while I commend you for taking a step and TRYING, I think I have something that will make you throw out your list and never look back.

Enter: Priority Grid

I’ve talked about it a million times and I will continue to shout it from the rooftops because it is LIFE CHANGING.

Follow me on Instagram to see how I use it: @thelovelyadventure

Okay, now that you have it let’s talk about why it is KEY to narrowing your focus.

This grid helps your brain to understand that everything isn’t just in an endless list. It now understands what is MOST important and what can wait.

That means that your brain can stop bringing up a bunch of irrelevant things that you haven’t gotten done.

Does your brain ever just nag you and make you feel guilty for things you haven’t crossed off?

Well, you can tell it to stop now because it knows what you HAVE to do today and this week and the rest can all wait.

Have you ever heard of Executive thinking? It’s a term you typically learn in Psychology 101. (Hey mom and dad, if you’re listening, I’m finally using my degree!).

It’s when your brain does any of these things:

Paying Attention
Organizing + Planning
Initiating tasks + staying focused
Regulating emotions
Self monitoring + Keeping track of what you are doing

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When your brain is overwhelmed / stressed with a task or just life in general you struggle to do any of these things well. It’s all too fuzzy and hazy and full for any of these to be a priority.

Have you ever had times when you COULDN’T pay attention?

COULDN’T initiate tasks?

COULDN’T regulate your emotions?

COULDN’T remember what you were doing (helllooooo “mom brain”)?

Your brain is too busy freaking out over all the things it has on the endless to-do list that it can’t begin to prioritize or puzzle. That’s why the priority grid is so great. It helps your brain sort all the things into pre-determined categories (a huge piece you didn’t have to think of) and then put blinders on to everything that didn’t make the “MUST” list for the time being.

Are you looking ahead without a plan?

This can be a huge cause of overwhelm and a great time to narrow your focus

My biggest tips for this:

Pick a deadline
Make a list of every tiny step (narrowing your focus) you have to do to complete the project (break it into categories if that helps)
Now, schedule a reasonable amount of those small steps each day until your deadline
Make sure they are manageable and can get done! You want to check them off, and then feel confident and motivated to continue!

If you need to, use this technique for a smaller chunk of time like for instance, your morning or afternoon. Create small time blocks and detail out by every 15 or so minutes what you are going to do + add rewards in between tasks to motivate yourself.

Want a detailed example of what that could look like? Read this blog post and I’ve written it out for you!

Do you have an overwhelming problem you don’t know how to solve?

First, get rid of toxic thoughts like:

“just get it done”
“get it over with”
“just finish it”

While these sound “motivating” they actually aren’t. These thoughts are causing you guilt and anxiety because they are jumping to the end result without a plan.

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Change your thoughts to:

“What is my very first step?”
“I need to educate myself more, when can i do that?”
“What steps do I need to take to get this done?”

Breaking your problem down into small manageable steps is key. And no step is too small! Remember, you want to motivate yourself and bring momentum to finding the solution! Baby steps!

Also, many first steps to solving a problem we are overwhelmed with is education. It is something we almost never schedule or give our selves permission to do… to learn. SCHEDULE IT.

Give yourself permission and schedule time to watch a Youtube video, google it or read a book. Education is empowerment and that’s what we need to tackle the overwhelm.

So, hopefully now you can see that “Narrowing your focus” and breaking things down into smaller steps is a huge step to overcoming the overwhelm and bringing more joy into your life and motherhood journey.

I would love to know what step resonated with you most? What is your biggest takeaway?