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What is stealing your joy?

When you look at your to-do list is there an item that makes you physically

tense up or take a big sigh?

For me that was cooking. Every day right before lunch and dinner my stomach would turn into knots and I would feel paralyzed with guilt. This resulted in me having zero motivation to start any type of meal prep. It was exhausting.

I didn’t grow up in a household that loved cooking and whether it is just a matter of not liking it or not being confident, cooking steals my joy. It doesn’t give me energy or peace or time to think… it just makes me tired and grumpy.

So, I’m sure you can see the dilemma. I’m a stay at home mom and wife and we don’t have a personal chef. My husband does help out with meals every now and then but we have mutually decided that it is my responsibility since I’m home all day (sigh I guess that seems fair…).

The Cycle of Guilt

I would struggle through this cycle of guilt because WHY DIDN’T GOD JUST GIVE ME THE COOKING GENE. Why wasn’t I good at this thing that was a huge responsibility?

Then, I would feel resentment towards meal times and guilt and resentment towards myself. These feelings were then projected onto my husband and it just all turned into a vicious cycle that drained me and my family.

I finally decided that I’d had enough.

What I Did About It

So, I looked at my weekly calendar and decided that Monday would be the day I would later deem “Not my gift day” (because I do all the things I have not been gifted in liking or having talent). On every Monday I do all the things that drain my energy and joy. It always includes cooking and often simultaneously all the loads of laundry I can fit in (plus folding and putting them away).

Why would you do that to yourself?!

I get it. It sounds kind of awful to do all the things I mostly despise all on one day. It sounds draining and like I would dread Mondays. But here’s the plot twist… I DON’T! I LOVE Mondays! I am so motivated to get it all done because for the rest of the week, I don’t have to think or do any of it. I don’t have to use my energy to think about meals or a cooking mess and dishes to clean or all the laundry staring at me.

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The freedom I gain from doing all of my energy draining responsibilities on one day at the beginning of the week is INCREDIBLE. I can say yes to play dates and time with Bowen. I have time to write this right now and time to sit and talk with my husband about our dreams and goals. I am making time for the things I love for the rest of the week because my joy and energy isn’t being drained.

How do you make time for that?

I protect it like a mother (download my freebie here to learn more). I am fiercely loyal to my Monday routine. I am an adult and I do decide to make exceptions for friends or coffee or family etc. but it is rare. I block off Mondays from appointments and phone calls. I focus and work hard because I know the freedom that is coming.

What does “Not My Gift Day” look like?

I wake up and do my MORNING ROUTINE (read all about that here)
Then, I begin to cook 3 seasonal meals using my instant pot (plus a few electric skillets, our kitchen set up is special and that’s another story for another day).
While cooking I simultaneously wash/dry laundry, fold and put it away.
Repeat all day long until I’ve finished / am satisfied with the freedom I’ve gained for the week ahead.

How YOU can personalize this plan!

I have chosen to fit A LOT into my Monday. It is a very full day but ultimately it is worth it to me.

So, how can you apply this to your life?

Look at your week or your to-do list. Find those things you have to do every week that drain you.
Now, look at your schedule and find a block of time (highly recommend it’s at the beginning of the week but it doesn’t have to be!) that you can protect and focus to get your energy and joy drainers done and out of the way.
You can even put one time tasks on your chosen “not my gift day” because I find that when I have that little cloud of guilt and dread hanging over me, I am far less joyful and productive.

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Your tasks could be big or small, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that they are draining your energy and killing your joy. So, if you can, try this method of lumping them all together and I think you will become addicted to the freedom you find in the rest of your week like I am.