Do Scary Things

Yesterday I posted this picture on Instagram .  This quote is in The Lovely Adventure mission statement and it's been something I've carried around with me for years. 

I went to college thinking I would get a degree, earn the big bucks and change the world.  Turns out, college revealed everything I wasn't good at (math, test taking, memorizing, reading large amounts and comprehension).  I thoroughly hated the academia of college. I wouldn't trade my friends and social experiences for the world, so in the end I'm glad I went. But also in the end, I had no idea who I was or what the heck I was going to do with my life.  Gifts? Did I have those? According to my college GPA and test scores, no.  No, I did not.  So, after college I wandered.  I worked at camp, which I loved.  My husband (boyfriend at the time) had moved to the United States for a job and that fall I followed.  We worked for the same YMCA resort, he did challenge adventures and I did outdoor education.  It wasn't my favorite job in the world, but, I did discover that I was good at being creative, hard working and people generally liked me as a human (always good to know).  

I got engaged that fall on a trip to Australia and that winter of 2010 in the off season I started this little crafty adventure of mine.  I discovered this love for handmade, re-purposing and teaching myself new skills.  

I went on to work full time at Heartland Camp after we were married in the fall of 2011 (I could write a whole novel on how much I love that place... I'll save that for another day).  That job gave me the freedom to discover that I loved design.  I loved graphic design, web design and event design.  I was pretty good at leadership (always room to grow) and I just hardcore love being part of a community and learning people's stories. I don't think I would have ever learned those things about myself had God not opened doors for me and had I not mustered up the courage to walk through. I'm all teary just thinking about it. How much I love how God has called me out of my box and said, "Andrea, you were made for so much more than this." 

Some days I struggle to believe it. Most days. Most days I want to curl up under a blanket and stop pushing my boundaries. Get a "real" job, stop trying to learn new things and just be safe.  But the truth is, it makes me feel alive. My soul craves creativity and design and learning new things. Starting this business has been the hardest and best thing I've ever done. And as soon as I want to throw in the towel, stop "wasting" our money and give up, God gives me a new idea. Or sends me someone who inspires me.  I have yet to hit a dead end.  And for me, always the pessimist, who is usually searching for the dead ends or an excuse to stop, that's pretty remarkable. 

Living the life you were created for doesn't really have an end or a golden answer. Living. It's a verb, it's continuous while we are blessed with life. Don't let your doubts or who the world says you should be create your box.  Turn that dang box into a spaceship and send it to the moon, you won't need it. Life is full of freedom without it. It's full of struggle and doubts and tears, too. But, when you aren't trying to fit in a box that you weren't created for in the first place, it's full of discovering who a boxless God created you to be. 

It's also worth noting who God didn't create you to be.  I thought I was meant to be a top of my class PHD psychologist.  Because that was successful (and really, it is...just not for me).  Coming to terms with the fact that my brain doesn't comprehend math, it can really only learn kinestetically and that my introverted tendencies are sometimes my best has changed my life. When you stop trying to fit into that box, you find you didn't really like it in there anyway.  

So here's to living the lives we were created for.  To giving up our boxes and pushing our boundaries. Here's to doing scary things (even if they are small) and figuring out how to be the best you.  You have something special to share with the world. There is only one of you and someone needs what you have.  Find it and don't stop sharing your story. 

Love,

The Lovely Adventurer

P.s. You're the best

Dog Backwards

Last week I was running with our puppy (minion) and yes, I said running, it was real. While running I've been trying to teach her that I'm the leader and that she should never pull or run in front of me.  So... about every 20 seconds... actually, make that 5 seconds, I have to pull her back and say "no, heal"... "good girl"... repeat.. a million times.  

She is slowly getting the hang of it... but it's definitely been a test of my patience... which, if you ask my husband, he will quickly tell you that I have about as much as a 5 year old.

While we were running and I was trying to teach her new ways of thinking... I realized such a beautiful connection between raising a puppy and my own walk with God.  Now, that's not to say that I am comparing myself to a dog or my intelligence to that of a dog.. I'd like to think I'm much smarter :) But there are just so many beautiful similarities.  So here is a list of a few I've thought of:

1. Her path and idea of where she wants to go... is not mine. She will pull and pull until I finally say "no" and give her a good yank in the other direction, which is usually quite startling and disappointing to her.  I find that I am that way with God... well.. almost every day.  I want to go my own way, I want to think that I have it all figured out.  "I know the way God, it doesn't look scary, I've got this."  It isn't until he says' "no" and I become distraught and disappointed with my path that I realize I should have just followed Him in the first place.

2. Her ways are not my ways.  I try so hard to communicate with her.  Sometimes she looks at me and you can just tell she so badly wants to understand what I'm saying, but just can't.  She wants to play when I just want to sit and cuddle, she wants to lead when I am the leader.  We are opposite. And trying so hard to understand each other. God's ways are not my ways. I am trying so hard to make them my ways but I fail.. daily... multiple times a day.

3. She is better than me. Andrea, did you seriously just say a dog is better than you? yes, I did.  Gosh, she gets SO excited when I come home. She wants to follow me around the house, sleep where I'm sleeping, lay at my feet.  When I feed her, if I am not standing next to her she will give up that delicious food just to come and be where I am.  I want just one ounce of that joy and loyalty towards my God. I so often want to run from Him, I would rather eat my own food and drink my own water than what He has to offer me. She is so loyal and joyful, and so is the Lord. I want that loyalty and joy. 

4. One day I came home and I could hear her all the way from work ( I work up the hill from my house) just barking and barking.  I thought, some animal has to be bothering her or maybe there is someone in my house? (I'm paranoid).  Russ had gone to work and all the lights were out so I slowly opened my door and turned on the lights.. no one. went outside.. nothing.  Minion had stopped barking, but as I started to call her name I could hear her but it was muffled... she wasn't in her dog house...she wasn't on the porch.  Where the heck was she?! And then I felt scratching underneath my feet.  She was UNDER the porch! *minor freak out... mydogisundertheporchwhattheheck?!* We have lattice going almost all the way around and I had a flashlight with me shining it under to see if she was stuck or just didn't know the way out.  She was fine... just barking away at the lattice. Clearly she thought that the way she got in (through a small break in the lattice) was the only way out. I wandered around to the other side of the porch where there is a HUGE opening... I mean... huge.  I called and called her, but she just kept barking at the lattice. I started flashing my light around and calling her name again, she finally noticed me and ran out frantically jumping at me as if to tell me how horrible it was.

The way out was so obvious. She wasn't stuck, she just thought the only way out was the way she came in.  I so often get stuck in life and think, "I should go back to the way it used to be, when I was doing all these good things to please God, I should go back." It has taken me so many years to get rid of that lie. I need nothing to please God but Jesus. If I seek Him I will find the way out, I will be better than I was. God didn't give us a way to go back in time for a reason, we need to always move forward and to forgive and forget our baggage in the past. And I so often have such a blindness to God's way, but looking back, the way out was so obvious. He was right there, shining His light, calling my name and it took me so long to hear Him.

5. We must always be teachable. She is always learning new things, picking up things, daily getting better at understanding us. She is so teachable.  I love that about her.  I am so stubborn.  Change is so scary.  But I just think about what amazing things I could learn and do if I were more like her. I need to always be open to God's teachings and have an open heart.

6. She loves everyone. I am so judgmental. So scared of people. So NOT Jesus. She doesn't care. She loves them and they instantly love her back. Probably more than anything, I want to be that way. I want to love without judgment the way that God loves me.  I do not deserve His love and yet I judge others.  I want to love like her.   

I love our puppy.  And even more so, I love my God. He is so good.  Child you're forgiven and loved... probably my favorite sentence.