10 Things to Make Times of Transition in Life Easier

We had just arrived back home from the airport and I could feel it. That discontent feeling when you arrive home and so many things are different. My husband had done a lot of projects when we were gone and even the slightest change in furniture placement made me feel uneasy. It’s not that I wasn’t grateful for his hard work when we were gone… I’m forever grateful for his handy and hard work. I just knew that it was never going to be the same as it had been for months… and on top of having to adjust to a new routine we now had to change the way we moved about our house and it felt like a lot to wrap my tired brain around.

Now, this may seem like a small problem. And in fact, you’re correct. Having my laundry in a different place and my bedroom configuration moved around isn’t that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. But, it was still a transition we had to get used to and it caused me to really look at how I deal with change and what tools I can develop and use to get through them more easily.

The definition of transition is: the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.

Transitions in our lives can be big or small. Big examples could include; moving, getting a new job, getting married, adding another child to your family or adding a new pet. Transitions could be small like; transitioning from dinner to bedtime, moving the furniture around, a house renovation (could be big or small) or a change in schedule.

**As a note I do want to point out that not all transitions are joyful. Sometimes heartbreak and loss can bring us into a season of grief combined with transition. While some of these tools may be helpful during those times, please know that I think grief and loss are a whole different topic and type of transition. They require extra gentleness, care and a whole new level of tools and resources. I’m not going to touch on those during this post, because I honestly don’t have the answers, but I encourage you to seek out other blogs, counseling services and friends who can better serve your specific needs.

These are the tools I was inspired to think about and practice as we transitioned from one season of life to another. As you’ll see, the psychology degree in me really came out for this one! haha Analyzing and becoming self aware of where our energy and emotions are going is a large part of the foundation to managing your time, finding a rhythm and embracing change.

10 Steps to Help You Embrace Change

1. Recognize that you are in a transition

If we fail to do this, we can cause a lot of guilt or negative feelings to build up. Transitions are hard. I don’t know many people who deal with change without some level of tension or grieving the old. If we continue to go on without stopping and recognizing what season we are in the tension and feeling of being a little “lost” can knock our confidence and have us wondering why we can’t seem to find our rhythm.

You can do this by:

1. making a list of things that have changed

2. making a list of why those changes are hard or easy for you

3. Talking through the changes with a friend and vocalizing why this season is hard for you

2. Being aware of your mental state

This can go hand in hand with number 1 but I think it is important to separate them. It is important to first recognize that you are in a transition and then become aware of how this is effecting your energy/mental state. Have you transitioned to a new job? Did you just have another child? Those are two examples of big transitions that can be very draining mentally. You are constantly thinking, the change in routine has your body exhausted and these can all contribute to your ability to adapt during this time.

Even small transitions can take a toll on our mental state depending on what events have come before. Have you just worked a long day and now have to come home, cook dinner and put kids to bed? Or have you just taken care of your child, cooked, cleaned and run errands all day and now your husband walks in the door adding another human who needs attention? It can be exhausting and noting your mental state at times of transition can be key to recognizing what tools or changes need to be implemented.

Besides draining our energy transitions can leave us feeling uprooted, uncomfortable and vulnerable. All of these feelings can cause our defenses to go up and our unhealthy emotional responses to come out in everyday situations we used to be able to stay calm in. Recognizing our vulnerabilities and defense mechanisms can help control the way we respond to perceived stress in times of transition.

You can do this by:

1. Looking at your day and recognizing what transitions are hard for you

2. Thinking about your mental state during those transitions (do you tend to have more negative thoughts? Are you overwhelmed? Do you dread it?)

3. Look at any of the next steps and see if they can help you determine how you can make this transition more joyful / less draining.

3. Recognize tension in relationships

Russell and I tend to argue more during transitional periods. When we come home from vacation - boom. When we moved- it was rough. When we had Bowen - tired, stressed parents + transition = all the arguments.

The transition from our afternoon play into dinner time is hard on Bowen and I. There is a tension and often some screaming and exhausted sighs. It’s something we are working on but the tension is definitely there.

Your marriage isn’t broken. You aren’t a bad mother. Your friendship isn’t over. You my sweet friend, are in a transitional period.

You can do this by:

1. Recognizing that the arguments are more about the stress and overwhelm of the season than you personally can heal many wounds.

2. Look at the pattern of arguments or moments of tension in your day… are they coming from a time of transition?

3. Try (this is a hard one) to recognize this in the moment or shortly after… what is this argument / tension really about?

4. Do the minimum

In times of transition we can be tempted to fill our schedule with busyness to ignore that uneasy feeling of being uprooted and vulnerable. But, in order to put down roots we need to stay still for a little while. Be gentle with yourself and embrace the uncomfortable. I’m not telling you to be a hermit or sit around and do nothing. I’m telling you to be aware that there is a line between being busy and being productive. Be productive with your time. Your mind and body may need more rest than usual during this period.

You can do this by:

1. Scheduling the minimum during your day.

2. Creating larger time blocks for events than usual

3. Saying no, even if you might normally say yes (if you need help with this read my tips here)

5. Have Staple Routines

Creating a morning routine was one of the best things I have done for myself. Mornings have always been a hard transition for me. I always felt lost, grumpy and overwhelmed. So, I implemented my morning routine (you can read about it here) and now mornings are starting to be my favorite time of the day. Creating a routine that brings you joy (even if it is temporary) during times of transition can make a huge difference.

You can do this by:

1. Pin pointing times of transition

2. Creating a 3-4 step routine filled with things that bring you joy / ground you

3. Stick to them + follow through, you’re worth it

4. Also, getting on the same page as your spouse/family can be a game changing routine for your week (you can read about how we do that here)

6. Priority Grid

Have you ever made a to-do list and then felt even more lost and overwhelmed? Have you ever stared at it and not known what to do next or where to start? Maybe you just decided to scroll your phone instead because the list just made you tired…? That was me before I had a priority grid. It is my MUST HAVE item for managing your time. Have you used this yet?! Girrrrrrl, you NEED this! Download my guide to “your most productive week ever” and it will be sent straight to your inbox along with my other top time saving tips. They help your brain decide what is important for RIGHT NOW and forget the rest so that your overwhelm can significantly decrease.

p.s. I also wrote a whole blog post on this that you can read about here

You can do this by:

1. Downloading my Priority Grid via the form above

2. Write out everything swirling around in your brain onto the grid

3. Choose what tasks need to be done TODAY and schedule them.

4. Follow through, because you’re worth keeping promises for

5. Feel accomplished! You did it!

7. narrow your Focus

Narrowing your focus can be KEY during a time of transition. When everything around us seems to be impermanent or up in the air it is nice to mentally push everything aside and focus on a few small tasks.

You can do this by:

1. Focusing on JUST your morning. Don’t let yourself look ahead

2. Focus on JUST your afternoon. Don’t let yourself think about tomorrow

3. During a smaller time block make a detailed list of tasks that need to be completed and rewards you can give yourself when they are done (mine usually involve chocolate hahaha). This can help narrow your focus to only the tasks at hand

8. Ask For Prayer / Find Community

In times of transition I usually need more prayer. I have a lot of unknowns in my life, a lot of stress, tension and vulnerable feelings. Find a community or at least one person you can reach out to when you have a prayer request or just something you need to talk about. Looking to God’s word, having a devotional you can turn to and community is an overarching tool that can help you in any of these steps and any season of change.

You can do this by:

1. Being willing to be vulnerable and reach out to friends or family

2. Offering the same support when friends need you

3. Testing out and finding a devotional / Bible study that works for you

4. Finding verses and scripture to turn to during this season. Write them down so that you can easily access them.

9. Don’t wish it away

It is easy to wish away times of transition. No matter the size or the circumstances, change can be hard on any level. Wishing away the transitional season can be a dangerous mental state to be in. It can create a cycle of negative thoughts and leave you less likely to persevere by using these tools to add more joy instead of overwhelm.

You can do this by:

1. Using any of these tools to spark joy during this time of change

2. Create a time each day to write down AT LEAST one thing you are thankful for from your day (I recommend three).

3. Create accountability with a friend or spouse so that they can call you out (lovingly) when negativity tries to take over

10. Think Outside the Box

When we choose to not wish away our times of transition we become more open to change itself. This can inspire a “thinking outside the box” mentality and create changes that may actually be more healthy / life giving than what you were previously doing. Being open to change and an opportunity to grow or become a better version of yourself can be a gift and often create a sense of gratitude for this time instead of negativity.

You can do this by:

1. Thinking critically and creatively about struggles / tensions that are happening during this transitional season

2. Being proactive and coming up with solutions that bring more joy to your situation

3. Recognizing that feeling of “more joy” and using that to inspire more “out of the box” problem solving

Hi, love! I’m a little (okay… a lot) obsessed with vintage everything, married to an Aussie and love exploring Colorado.

I worked in Christian camping for ten years creating activities that are simple but effective.

Now I’ve learned that in order to fit in those important activities about God into our week, we need to first learn to find the time and manage it wisely.

So, I’m bringing you ways to manage your time and spend your new found freedom with intention and those you love most.

I’m so glad you’re here, sweet mama.

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I hope this list can help you better understand and approach times of transitions / change.

I’d love to know if you have any other tips to add! Have you used any of these 10 tips yourself? Did you find them useful?

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Update + You're Enough

Dear Ones, 

Gosh... it's been so long since I've made myself sit down and write.  Honestly, I've been avoiding it like the plague. Not that I really have anything dramatic or terrible to tell you... I just felt lost in what I wanted to say.  

I went to Australia for 8 weeks. It was beautiful. I can't really put into words how much I loved it. We adventured.. we saw family and friends (except for you, dear Gracie... next time, I'm determined!).  There will never be enough time.  We will always have things we want to do but can't... but it was incredible and we got to do so much.  

We came home to winter and excited dogs and a familiar bed and beautiful friends.  It was so good to be home.

Since being home I've sat and stared at all my crafty things... all my vintage treasures I've been storing up... I've cleaned them and rearranged them (my biggest form of procrastination) and told myself that once it's all perfectly organized... then... then I will start to make things.  

It's all perfectly organized. It has been for weeks.

I scroll through Facebook and Instagram and Pinterest looking at all these articles that say "Make 7928370384 billion dollars just from working at home!", "Create the perfect website so all your customers will buy your things!", "Use social media correctly and earn 6903495x more dollars!", "Take my free webinar and all tell you all my secrets except for the one that will make you money... you'll have to pay for that!".  I scroll... and I scroll... and I scroll... and I read all these messages that tell me it's easy.  I don't have the secrets. I need more money. I'm trying too hard. My brain isn't working properly. I should give up if I don't know the secrets.

I know these articles and webinars and all these things are meant to be helpful.  I've actually found great tips from some of them.  If you're looking to do something you've never done, education is key.  But currently... they've overwhelmed me. I don't know if any of you out there can relate but I just got lost in it.  I got lost thinking that what I'm doing isn't like everyone else...and that's not really okay to be different. What I make isn't cool enough. The things I know and the things I've taught myself just aren't enough. 

And then today.. I don't know what it was.. maybe it was seeing about 60 more articles telling me to earn $100,000 from home in my newsfeed (please for the LOVE Andrea get off Facebook... I know, I know) but I opened up my computer and started writing this because I thought that there has to be a dreamer out there who feels lost with me. 

We are creative beings. There are so many things we should do. So many algorithms and steps to follow and ways our pictures should look and a new social media we should have and products we should be selling and and and and and... it really never stops. The list of shoulds will always be there.  

But my dear dreamer, I don't want to be a "should" with everyone else.  I want to be creative, I want to dream. I want to do things my own way. Articles and social media will forever tell us to fit in. To follow the steps. To get more money. To be the best and beat everyone else. 

I lost myself in the shoulds. I started this little lovely adventure because I LOVE creating. It makes me so happy. And even more than that... I love having a platform to tell you that you are so ridiculously loved. You're beautiful and brave and the world needs a you so badly.  

So I thought of this quote I’d seen before many times,

It’s so true. Don't let it steal your joy or your dream. 

We are enough. Don't give up on your dreams... whatever they are.  Maybe they aren't selling something or creating ... maybe it's just to wake up earlier, to be tidier... to eat more chocolate. Whatever your dreams are... read the articles, read all the things, do whatever it takes to educate yourself to achieve your dream.  But, don't let them get you lost. Don't let them tell you that you aren't enough.  Just begin. If you have passion and heart then you have enough to begin.  

And let me also say that I've begun a lot of things with passion and heart and failed.  I gave up (waking up earlier), I got lazy (waking up earlier), it wasn't for me (waking up earlier) or it just made me unhappy and I didn't HAVE to do it (waking up earlier). But if it's a dream or goal that gives you life and joy but you're stuck because you feel like you aren't doing it the way everyone says you should be.. keep going. I think that joy, genuine intention and passion are recognized and rewarded more than doing all the right things. 

Plus, I'll always be cheering for you. 

If you feel stuck or lost or need to be reminded that you're loved... please oh please email me, comment, message me or send a carrier pigeon. I'd love to remind you that you're enough, pray for you and cheer for you. 

I love you, dear sweet souls. I missed writing to you. 

Love, 

The Lovely Adventurer

Love Loudly

My dear, sweet lovely adventurers... it has been too long!  As many of you may know, I am closing my little shop for the summer because I am directing a summer camp in the mountains near Flagstaff, Arizona.  I am so so excited... but also a little sad to leave my lovely adventure at home, my husband and pups and of course my craft room!  But, I am confident that God has called me and given me the gifts for this amazing opportunity and adventure.  It's just a week away!  

I can't wait to share the lessons I'm sure to learn and come back with fresh new ideas and dreams for this lovely adventure!  I wanted to write a pre-adventure post with some encouragement and inspiration for you dear sweet souls. 

I've been really inspired lately to be very honest and encouraging with my words.  I think we all walk around thinking that everyone else has it together, and everyone else must know how great they are and what gifts they have.  But, it turns out not that many of us do.  And even if we've known it at some point or been encouraged that doesn't always last.  Doubts creep in and make us forget the words that once gave us confidence.  

So I created some designs that speak to what I've been working on in my life.  "Love One Another Deeply" and "Love Loudly" both call on us to be bold and encouraging with our words.  To be vulnerable and to take that step into what we feel like might be an uncomfortable moment as we tell someone what they mean to us, what beauty we see in them and what gifts they have.  

Everyone deserves to be loved and to know they are loved.  Some days, we need someone to love us loudly. To tell us direct encouraging words, to make time for us or bring us flowers for no reason.  So, I challenge you to love loudly.  Message, email, text, call, speak in person with those in your life that you love.  Even if you can't see that they need it or they haven't asked... we always need to know that we are loved. 

I can't wait to reconnect with you all in the fall and I hope you have the most beautiful couple of months. In the mean time I'll probably be in the mountains wearing this awesome hat my grandma got me.  And you can always follow me on Instagram @thelovelyadventure for updates on my adventure! 

Know you are loved,

The Lovely Adventurer

5 Lovely Things Vol. 1.0: Things to help start the New Year strong

So here's a little known/actually probably well known fact about me... I'm soooo terrible at being self disciplined.  Thus, any and all "New Year Resolutions" I've had have been more like "New Year Jokes".  For reals though. I'm terrible. 

This is my very serious face so that you'll believe me when I say, truly, truly... I am so terribly terrible at self discipline. 

So, this year instead of making a new joke I decided to choose some things that would just help me be more disciplined.  Since... that's really the root of all my problems in life. Eat tacos... or pay bills? tacos. Watch Netflix.... or do laundry? Netflix. duh. Paint my nails.... or clean stuff? nailzzzz.  These thoughts happen on the daily. #oops 

So, here are my 5 Lovely things for the week that are hopefully helping me to start off my New Year strong. 

1. Planner

a) I'm obsessed with Sugar Paper LA. Their products are the bomb diggity and they sell them at Target where I spend 99% of my life... and my money. 

b) I love writing everything down, in pencil. Does that make me old?  I can't handle google calendar or writing things on my tiny phone keyboard.  Give me all the paper and all the pencils. please. and a lot of erasers. 

c) I love the layout of this planner. It includes a big monthly view, monthly goals, weekly goals and a large slot for writing each day out.  I'm all about compartmentalizing life and this one has alll the compartments. I love it. 

2. Tile 

This one doesn't necessarily help with discipline... but it helps keep my sanity so that's pretty great.  I've had this for a while longer than the start of this year but dang, people. I love it.  Where I am lacking in discipline I am also lacking in memory.  I make up for it all in beauty, don't worry. hahaha. But seriously, my memory it is terrible. 

So I'm constantly losing my keys, my phone, my purse... errything. Enter TILE. have you seen them?!  You just attach them to whatever you want (I think they have sticky things to attach them to things that aren't keys) and then program it with an app on your phone.  Now, anytime you lose your keys or whatever you get into the app and have it track down the location of your keys.  It also plays this cute little song so you can find it.  Kind of a struggle if you lose your phone and your keys... but I have yet to be that awesome. I'm sure there will come a day. 

Tile. get one. it will keep you sane. 

3. Calendars. All of them.

I'm a very visual learner. Usually my months go something like this:

"I'm going to be awesome this month!  It's January! Let's do this!"

..."crap... is it really February? I forgot to do all the awesome things." 

"I'm going to be awesome this month!  It's February!  Let's do this!"

..."crap... it's March?!  I forgot to do all the awesome things."

"MARCH! Awesome! Things! Maybe? meh. maybe in April." 

So this year my bff Target sold a million amazing calendars in the dollar section and I bought them all. I'm plastering them everywhere to remind myself how many days I have left to be awesome and that I can't let my goals and dreams slip away so easily. Remind Remind Remind... that's the secret to an awesome me. 

4. Ridiculous Glasses  

A lot of days I take life way too seriously. And also, I really struggle with caring WAY too much about what people think of me. So, I buy fake glasses. And I wear them. In public. At first I broke out in sweats because they are pretty ridiculous and some of mine don't even have lenses #ghettoglasses But the more I wore them the more they made me laugh.  It was like a secret joke with myself. A lot of people would compliment me or just stare at the glasses that are larger than my face. I've learned to just let it go and let it make me laugh. So, find something that makes you happy and helps you take life a little less serious. 

5. Daily Inspiration

I spend way too much time talking to myself with negative words. Not believing I can do things or focusing on everything I'm not instead of everything I am. I'm determined to surround myself with some love this year and to focus on the lies I believe. This little dry erase board from you guessed it, the target dollar section, is my first weapon of choice. I'm excited to document the messages I'll be writing. 

So, those are the things I'll be using to start my year off strong and try to tackle being at least 5% more disciplined. What are some of your new year goals?  Whatever they are, you can do it.  I believe in you.  You are you, and that's enough. 

Love,

The Lovely Adventurer

6 Steps to Beating Overwhelm and Achieving Your Goal

Have you ever had a dream, idea or goal that seemed so out of your comfort zone you just became overwhelmed, frozen and didn't even start?  

I feel that so many times about business, creative projects, fitness/health and even relationships.  I find that the root of my problem is a false belief that whatever I have to do has to be perfect.  And if it isn't perfect, everyone will know. 

So I came up with 6 ways to beating overwhelm and achieving your goal that have worked for me:  

1. Research the heck out of your topic.  Now, don't do this for like 5 years and then start... give yourself a limit and a deadline for research..  And when you do stop, be okay with what you know.  You'll learn everything in time, I promise.  While you're researching, be sure to take time and just be.  Soak in and process all that you've been learning. Research equips you with confidence, knowledge, inspiration and can even connect you with other people who have gone before you.  

2. Connect with other people who have done it.  That may be finding bloggers or speakers through social media etc.  You don't have to email them or even interact, but follow them (the introvert way).  Observe what they do.  And if you're extroverted (unlike me) ask them questions and see if they will help you. 

3.  Be okay with the fact that you won't remember everything.  Listening in on webinars, reading blogs, observing those who have what you want... you're going to take in a lot of information and not everything will stick.  When I read things or attend a webinar I usually walk away with 2 things that really stuck with me.  And in my opinion, that makes it worth it.  I now have two things I'm excited about.  I can put these into practice and fully understand how they fit into my vision.

4.  This one sounds bad at first but bear with me... Find people you idealize and find their flaws. I have so many bloggers and people that I idealize and think, "man, they know EVERYTHING".  But the more you interact and watch them, the more you see that they make mistakes and the more that "perfect" start to your dream or goal becomes realistic.  Now, I'm not saying to follow everyone you love and find reasons to hate them.  I mean find their flaws and see why it makes them real, authentic and awesome human people... and why that can be you too. 

5. I love listening on periscope (currently obsessed... anyone else?) or webinars and hearing, "when we first started....".  That means they've changed.  That means they started out and it wasn't perfect so they re-evaluated and found a way to make what they do better.  You don't have to start by being perfect.  You just have to start by being you and figuring out how you work best. Don't ever be afraid to change if it can make you better and achieve your goals. 

6. No one will know.  No one will know you "did it wrong" or you weren't perfect because frankly... probably no one will notice unless you tell them a play by play.  And also, most people will just think you're learning and trying new things to achieve your goal.  I tend to tell myself that everyone sees every mistake I make... or that there is some secret billboard out there that has a new catchy headline announcing each of my failures.  "Girl tries new thing and decides to try a different thing." yep. that's definitely news worthy. jk no one cares, and neither should you.  Learn from your mistakes and don't let the fear of failing stop you.  

Don't psych yourself out.  This goal, this dream or idea... it could be what you were made to do.  And you'll never know until you stop being frozen (seriously, Elsa, stop.) and start doing something. 

Do you have other tips that help you beat the overwhelm before starting on the path to achieve a new goal?  Tell me!  Please, I'd love to know... especially if they include chocolate. 

There's only one you, and you're the best. 

Love, 

The Lovely Adventurer