How Choosing My People Over Busyness Changed My Life

What is your legacy?

What do you think of when you think of a legacy?

I often think of significant events… birthdays, weddings, funerals . Always at these events there are beautiful speeches and testimonies that are told about people and the way they lead their life. For a long time I didn’t ever purposefully try to shape my legacy… I just thought it was something that you leave behind and it’s how other people choose to tell your story.

I now believe differently. It’s how you choose to influence other people’s stories. It’s the way you pour into their life that shapes your legacy.

I think it’s too late if we try and shape or think about our legacy at the end of our life. It’s time to ask yourself today, “What legacy did I leave behind yesterday?” “Did I choose to love?”

“What can I do now to leave a legacy behind that tells those around me they are enough and worth my time?”

It is easy to listen to the messages of “hustle harder” and “when you reach the goal of (fill in the blank) you will finally be happy and have time for everything”.

Now, don’t get me wrong, we can do great things with our time throughout our lives. We can start non profits or businesses that give our families freedom and offer value. We can work purposeful jobs that provide for our families and serve others. Those are valuable things to do with our time.

I’m also not saying that you need to say yes to every invitation that comes your way. We need to protect our time and learn how to use it wisely. I think I would actually go crazy if I said yes to everything.

But, when we are saying no all the time because those goals, jobs or measures of success are taking over every aspect of our life…it takes us away from loving the real life humans God has so graciously put in our path. That is the point when we need to check our hearts.

Several years ago I was working a part time job in town, a part time job remotely on my off time and also running The Lovely Adventure. All the jobs were filled with the greatest intentions and I loved them all. They all sent messages out into the world that said, “You are loved” and one was even a Christian summer camp… I can’t think of a more beautiful mission than to share The Good News with our youth.

My heart was in the right place and I truly believed I was doing what God had called me to do. But I was stressed, not delegating, taking too many things on, terrible at saying “no” and literally running myself into the ground. I had taken opportunities God had given me and turned them into points of stress and exhaustion. Sounds like a classic human move, doesn’t it?

Soon after all of these things came to an end I had exhausted myself and realized just how empty my life was. I hadn’t seen my friends in months. I hadn’t seen my family. My marriage was full of arguments and painful conversations because we felt far apart even if we were in the same room. We were surviving on frozen pizza and the size of the laundry pile on our couch was embarrassing. I had to start at ground zero and figure out how to build everything that my busyness had destroyed.

God doesn’t make mistakes.

I don’t think it’s a “nice gesture” that he puts friends and family into our lives. I think it is purposeful and part of our calling to love those humans the best that we possibly can. They will be there to give the speeches and testimony of our legacy, after all. Are we telling them, “I don’t have time for you, I’m too busy.” or “Those things can wait, I’ll make the time.” ?

I’m sure you can guess which message I was giving out.

You see, all the good I was doing in all the jobs was worth nothing if the people who were put into my circle felt second best. If anyone had asked them how good of a friend, sister, wife, daughter etc. I was… if they were really honest, I think it would have been “a busy one….and not the best”.

Do we want to be busy or do we want to be a friend? Do we want to be successful or do we want to be there for those we love when they need us? What is God calling us to?

It’s all about balance and it’s a daily battle to fight for… but I want us to start thinking about shaping our legacies now before it’s too late. To choose our people over everything. To choose to love and to point people to Christ with our actions and the way we spend our time.

I sat down and thought about an action item to give you. I want you to think of at least three ways you want to be remembered.

So, when a friend is telling someone else about you they don’t say, “yeah she is really busy.” but instead, “She’s a really great friend. We have the best conversations, I can always call her if I need something”.

Here are the ways I want to be remembered:

1. Andrea loved people before her to-do list

2. Andrea wasn’t busy, she was productive with her time

3. Andrea didn’t waste the time God gave to her, it was her most valuable currency

4. Andrea gave solutions and did her best to help women fight overwhelm in their lives

Let’s be intentional, purposeful and passionate about shaping our legacy.

Let’s be women that value our time and our people over the busyness that tempts us with empty success, honor and pride.

I think you’ll find that so much you are missing and searching for will be found in the time you spend with the people God gave you.

Let’s not waste that blessing, sweet friends.

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Meet the Blogger

Hi, love! I’m a little (okay… a lot) obsessed with vintage everything, married to an Aussie and love exploring Colorado.

I worked in Christian camping for ten years creating activities that are simple but effective.

Now I’ve learned that in order to fit in those important activities about God into our week, we need to first learn to find the time and manage it wisely.

So, I’m bringing you ways to manage your time and spend your new found freedom with intention and those you love most.

I’m so glad you’re here, sweet mama.

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6 Steps to Beating Overwhelm and Achieving Your Goal

Have you ever had a dream, idea or goal that seemed so out of your comfort zone you just became overwhelmed, frozen and didn't even start?  

I feel that so many times about business, creative projects, fitness/health and even relationships.  I find that the root of my problem is a false belief that whatever I have to do has to be perfect.  And if it isn't perfect, everyone will know. 

So I came up with 6 ways to beating overwhelm and achieving your goal that have worked for me:  

1. Research the heck out of your topic.  Now, don't do this for like 5 years and then start... give yourself a limit and a deadline for research..  And when you do stop, be okay with what you know.  You'll learn everything in time, I promise.  While you're researching, be sure to take time and just be.  Soak in and process all that you've been learning. Research equips you with confidence, knowledge, inspiration and can even connect you with other people who have gone before you.  

2. Connect with other people who have done it.  That may be finding bloggers or speakers through social media etc.  You don't have to email them or even interact, but follow them (the introvert way).  Observe what they do.  And if you're extroverted (unlike me) ask them questions and see if they will help you. 

3.  Be okay with the fact that you won't remember everything.  Listening in on webinars, reading blogs, observing those who have what you want... you're going to take in a lot of information and not everything will stick.  When I read things or attend a webinar I usually walk away with 2 things that really stuck with me.  And in my opinion, that makes it worth it.  I now have two things I'm excited about.  I can put these into practice and fully understand how they fit into my vision.

4.  This one sounds bad at first but bear with me... Find people you idealize and find their flaws. I have so many bloggers and people that I idealize and think, "man, they know EVERYTHING".  But the more you interact and watch them, the more you see that they make mistakes and the more that "perfect" start to your dream or goal becomes realistic.  Now, I'm not saying to follow everyone you love and find reasons to hate them.  I mean find their flaws and see why it makes them real, authentic and awesome human people... and why that can be you too. 

5. I love listening on periscope (currently obsessed... anyone else?) or webinars and hearing, "when we first started....".  That means they've changed.  That means they started out and it wasn't perfect so they re-evaluated and found a way to make what they do better.  You don't have to start by being perfect.  You just have to start by being you and figuring out how you work best. Don't ever be afraid to change if it can make you better and achieve your goals. 

6. No one will know.  No one will know you "did it wrong" or you weren't perfect because frankly... probably no one will notice unless you tell them a play by play.  And also, most people will just think you're learning and trying new things to achieve your goal.  I tend to tell myself that everyone sees every mistake I make... or that there is some secret billboard out there that has a new catchy headline announcing each of my failures.  "Girl tries new thing and decides to try a different thing." yep. that's definitely news worthy. jk no one cares, and neither should you.  Learn from your mistakes and don't let the fear of failing stop you.  

Don't psych yourself out.  This goal, this dream or idea... it could be what you were made to do.  And you'll never know until you stop being frozen (seriously, Elsa, stop.) and start doing something. 

Do you have other tips that help you beat the overwhelm before starting on the path to achieve a new goal?  Tell me!  Please, I'd love to know... especially if they include chocolate. 

There's only one you, and you're the best. 

Love, 

The Lovely Adventurer